Selecting a Mediator
You are entitled to hire the best. These are difficult times and getting divorced is one of the most important and serious undertakings of your life. Selection of a mediator should not be taken lightly. A good mediator can help to make this difficult task as painless as possible. You need a professional…someone who will bring experience, knowledge, sensitivity and compassion to the table.
Here are some of the criteria you may want to consider in selecting a mediator:
1. Personal Meeting. I urge you to have a personal meeting with any potential mediator before you engage his/her services. Getting divorced is much too important not to have a good feeling about the person who will help guide you through the process of reaching a settlement and creating an agreement. It is virtually impossible to know whether or not you can comfortably and successfully work with a person without an actual face-to-face meeting. You may do yourself a disservice by hiring someone just based upon a website or recommendations. It is worth the time and effort to meet and get a measure of any potential mediator.
2. Experience. The mediator should be you a professional who has devoted a significant number of years to the practice of law and to the art of mediation. He/she should have developed a familiarity with matrimonial cases over a substantial period of time. You want answers to the following questions: Has she/he conducted several mediations? Does this mediator have teaching experience in matrimonial and/or dispute resolution areas? Is the mediator certified? Has the mediator taken and completed divorce mediation training courses?
3. Knowledge. Talk with the mediator about questions you have. Do the responses satisfy you that the mediator will guide you with suggestions that comply with the law, the day-to-day application of the law, and the likely resolutions by judges if the issues were presented to a court for resolution?
4. Compassion. It is important that the mediator be the type of person who is empathic and understanding with respect to the emotional factors present during the process. Getting a divorce is never easy. It takes an experienced and compassionate mediator to help the parties weather the storm and reach a palatable agreement.
5. Demeanor. Does the mediator impress you as a professional? Is the mediator someone with whom you would feel comfortable expressing yourself and in whom you would have confidence? Does the mediator strike you as a person of integrity and one who would maintain a level of neutrality…not favor one party over the other?
6. Listener. Do you have a feeling that the mediator will be a good listener and is someone with whom you will feel at ease expressing your thoughts, ideas, and concerns. Is he/she a professional who is willing to listen to each of you and then work with you in shaping an agreement?
7. Flexibility. Does the mediator appear to be the kind of person who will encourage the parties to consider various options in forging an agreement and not be locked into traditional, standard resolutions if they are not appropriate?
8. Fee. When you make an appointment for the introductory meeting, be certain that there is a clear understanding that there is no charge for that exploratory session.
Consultation with a Mediator
To schedule a confidential consultation to learn more about mediation, click here, or call us seven days a week at toll free 866-414-0400.
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