Massachusetts Getting Started with Mediator
What to do Before Getting Started with A Mediator
Be absolutely certain that there is a clear understanding of the fee that the mediator will charge for the sessions, preparation of the final agreement, and any other costs that he/she anticipates, e.g. whether or not there will be costs incurred for telephone and e-mail communication, and if so, how much.
Once you have selected a mediator, it will be beneficial for both the wife and the husband to gather and organize as much financial information as possible prior to your first session. It will give the parties a head start and shorten the number of sessions if each comes equipped with as much of the following as possible:
1. Copies of tax returns, preferably for the prior 3 years;
2. Copies of W-2 and 1099 statements.
3. Copies of real estate tax bills and/or assessment information, preferably for the prior 3 years;
4. Copies or records of heating, gas and electriciy bills, preferably for the past 3 years;
5. If the marital home is one that you rent, copies of any lease that exists, and records regarding the rent that you pay;
6. Copies of repair and maintenance expenses regarding the house during the past 3 years;
7. If the marital home is a condominium, copies of the monthly maintenance charges and any assessments over the past 3 years;
8. A list of all assets, including, but not necessarily limited to:
a. Bank accounts;
b. Stocks and bonds;
c. Real estate with estimate of fair market value and the specifics regarding existing mortgages and home equity loans.
9. Automobiles, including year, make, model, and outstanding balances on car loans;
10. A list of tangible personal belongings, including but not limited to, paintings, collectibles, television sets, DVD and CD players, jewelry, significant dinnerware;
11. Retirement Plans – as much specific information as you have and can obtain from your employer regarding the type of plan, and when you were or will be vested, and its present day value;
12. Health Insurance – copies of or as much information as possible regarding whatever health insurance each of you currently has, including information from the manager of the plan with respect to maintaining your spouse on the plan after divorce, should that be a part of the agreement;
13. Copies of Life Insurance policies;
14. Credit Card information, including current balances;
15. A list of your estimated monthly expenses, including, but not necessarily limited to:
a. Mortgage payments or rent
b. Taxes
c. Homeowners Insurance
d. Tenant’s Insurance
e. Heat
f. Electricity
g. Telephone
h. Food
i. Clothing
j. Health Insurance
k. Dental expenses
l. Automobile expenses
m. Entertainment
n. Vacations, including children’s camp
o. Cable costs for television and internet
p. Special school costs, including tuition and related expenses
q. Baby sitting/Nanny costs
I recognize that this is a lot of information to gather, but it is information that is necessary to make mediation work. Just the act of gathering and organizing this data will help give each party confidence and a sense of control. By having most of this knowledge before you meet with the mediator will give you a jump start in moving forward with the process.
Obviously, issues surrounding the children are paramount. To the extent you are able, make whatever agreements (even if temporary) you can with respect to where and with whom the children will live, visitation and holiday schedules, and temporary child support. These matters may be too difficult upon which to reach an accord, and may even be the primary reason you need mediation. But, to repeat, to the extent you can reach agreement, that will reduce the amount of mediation sessions you may require.
In short, as much as you can possibly agree upon, even if tentative, before you meet with a mediator will lessen your respective stress levels, increase the efficiency of the process, and reduce the cost.
Consultation with a Mediator
To schedule a confidential consultation to learn more about mediation, click here, or call us seven days a week at toll free 866-414-0400.
